Russian for the Adoption Traveler

Adoption Friends:

If you'll be traveling to Russia to adopt your child, I wanted to let you know that the premier offering of "Russian for the Adoption Traveler" will begin this Monday (6/5/06) and share with you a part of my adoption story.

The first time I met my youngest son ...
I remember our trips to Russia to adopt our youngest son quite vividly. What a life changing experience! The excitement of knowing we'd get to meet our new son. The wonder we felt walking the streets of Moscow and seeing a different way of life. How we traveled to his region and saw his orphanage for the first time. How our hearts raced with anticipation when we heard little footsteps coming up the stairs ... was it him? And, frozen in my mind, the moment that he came around the corner and we saw each other for the very first time!

It was a time of such great emotion, filled with so many new experiences. We wanted to absorb as much as we could of the world in which he was born. We wanted to learn as much as we could about him from those whose care had helped put him into our arms. And - leaving the orphanage feeling how fast his heart was beating as I held him tight - knowing that this moment, this opportunity, would never come again.

I wish I learned some Russian
While I wouldn't change a thing about my experience, there is something that I wished I had done prior to taking my trips - learn some Russian. Not to be fluent, but to have been better able to interact with the many people that I met. To be able to learn more about the country of my son's birth. To be better able to thank
those who had taken care of my son. And, most importantly, to have been able to better communicate with my new son in the language he was familiar with right from the start.

Russian for the Adoption Traveler
That's why I've brought "Russian for the Adoption Traveler" to ThinkingOfAdopting.com. Taught by Russian born, native speaker Tatyana Komarova, this unique course is specially designed for you, the adoption traveler. Tatyana will teach you the Russian language skills that can help your trips be less stressful, allow you to experience more in Russia, and help you better communicate with and comfort your new child. Best of all, you'll be learning from and interacting with Tatyana live from the comfort of your own home.

"Russian for the Adoption Traveler" is a four part course presented in the webinar format - you'll listen to and speak with Tatyana using your telephone while simultaneously viewing her slides (showing the worlds in both English and Cyrillic) using your computer on the internet. It's simple and easy. Have dial up internet access? You can use your cell phone to talk with Tatyana and your dial up line to access the Internet. Or you can participate using your phone and print out the slides for your reference during the session.

The four parts include:
Session 1 (6/05/06 [Mon], 9-10 PM Eastern): Russian culture,
greeting phrases & short words
Session 2 (6/12/06 [Mon], 9-10 PM Eastern): How to ask questions
Session 3 (6/19/06 [Mon], 9-10 PM Eastern): Money and numbers
Session 4 (6/26/06 [Mon], 9-10 PM Eastern): Child's talk - how to
talk with your new child

Don't worry about missing a class
The audio from each session will be available within 48 hours for you to listen to via the Internet (no phone required) or to download to your iPod or MP3 player. You'll be able to practice or catch-up on a missed class at your convenience. Take them on your trips to Russia to review on the plane or in the hotel. Tatyana's slides will also be available via the Internet for you to review or print as a reference.

Make the most of your trips to Russia
If you want to make your trips to Russia less stressful, if you want to experience more while you are in Russia, or if you want to better communicate with and comfort your new child, "Russian for the Adoption Traveler" can help. Registrtion inlcudes all four live sessions, access to the downloadable recording of each session, as well as access to the slides containing the English and Cyrillic versions of all words taught by Tatyana. Plus, if you register for this premier edition of the course, a CD containing all of the audio and slides from the course will be mailed to you at the end of the class.

To register for Russian for the Adoption Traveler, click on the
following link:
http://www.thinkingofadopting.com/html/adoption_telecourses.html
Then click on the "Register" button next to the description for "Russian for the Adoption Traveler".

Please contact me if you have any questions or need additional information. My best to you on your adoption journey.

Robin Bartko

What Age Adopted Child has the Best Outcome?

I was recently reading the June 2006 Issue of Adoptive Families Magazine and found something very interesting that I want to share with you. Under "Adoption News and Notes" it states, "A review of 29 studies and other information on children adopted from orphanages in Romania, Russia and China showed that the most consistent indicator of ongoing problems is the length of time spent in orphanage care [...] children in care a year or longer were at higher risk for cognitive delays and behavioral problems."

Prior to adopting my son, I spoke to a lot of experts in the field of adoption. While you'll find varying opinions even among experts, three main points were consistently made. The first was to a child age two or under. The second was to be very selective during the referral process (regardlessss of the country you adopt from) so that you can be sure you are prepared to provide the love and support that the child will need. The third (and very important point) was that the majority of adoptive children do very well once they are placed within a good, caring home. If you are thinking of adopting or already in the process of adopting you may want to consider these points.

While many pre-adoptive parents understand there are likely to be cognitive delays associated with a stay in an orphanage, they may not have thought as much about the behavioral problems that may result. Behavioral problems should not be underestimated, as they tend to be very stressful for any parent, adoptive or otherwise, to deal with. Therefore, there are some questions you may want to ask your agency, including, "How long has my child been in an orphanage?" "Where was my child prior to being placed in the orphanage?" "What is my child's temperament like?" "How does my child react to people?" Of course, you'll want to share this information with your international adoption doctor so that they can help you make an informed decision on what is right for you. Don't have an international adoption doctor yet? You can find a list of international adoption doctors on the Adoption Links page of ThinkingOfAdopting.com.

While I would agree that children that are in orphanages for shorter times seem to adjust better, I do not want to discourage anyone who wants to adopt an older child. I have seen many very happy older child adoptions as well. And, only you know what's right for you. The key is to talk to other adoptive parents about the challenges they have had with their children and how they overcame them. In this way you'll be prepared to provide your new child with the love and support that they'll need.

Robin Bartko

Diane Sawyer’s Views on Motherhood

Did you see the April 2006 issue of Ladies’ Home Journal Magazine? The cover story, entitled "The Secret to Sawyer: A Look into Diane Sawyer's Personal Life", is an interview with the "PrimeTime Live" and "Good Morning America" co-host. In the atricle Diane Sawyer shares her views on various aspects of her life including her feelings about “motherhood, marriage, God, dieting – and turning 60.”

As an adoptive mom I like Diane Sawyer’s views on motherhood. She says, “I think a good mother is such a heavenly thing to see. [...] Whether adopted or biological, there is something about your child depending on you every day that is a direct beam of light from one life to the other. It’s just a direct and unequaled bond.”

Of course, a mom's job is often not glamorous. Moms often put in very long days, juggle many simultaneous tasks, run various family errands and face unending household chores. Of course, it's a labor of love. Something that we, as adoptive moms, have longed for and wanted so much.

On turning 60, Diane Sawyer said, “Whether it’s foster care and the despair that’s seeded in that, or whether it’s exhaustion from too much to do. These are things that can be solved, and there’s just not a whole lot of tolerance anymore for spending another 10 years without getting something done.”

Isn’t it nice to hear from someone like Diane Sawyer that she not only is a humanitarian, but she repects and values motherhood, too?

Robin Bartko

China Adoption – Dr. Todd Ochs Shares his Experiences

Dr. Todd Ochs recently presented the webinar "Adopting the Orphanage Child" on ThinkingOfAdopting.com. If you don't already know of Dr. Ochs, he is an international doctor and parent of five children, including 4 adopted from China (read Dr. Ochs' bio). During the webinar he shared his knowledge gained from his experience as both an international pediatric specialist as well as the father of children from China.

Dr. Ochs mentioned that the conditions and caregiver ratio in Chinese orphanages vary greatly. Of course, some of orphanages have more resources than others. If you are thinking about adopting from China, you may want to ask you adoption agency the following questions. What is the caregiver to child ratio in the orphanage? Is there enough light in the orphanage? How clean is the orphanage?

Dr. Ochs indicated that the children are often put in walkers. Therefore, after they are adopted, they may need to work on building strength in their backs and stomachs. Language is not encouraged in orphanages because it is too noisy. Children from China tend to be getting enough calories, but lack protein. The children who have 3 or less caregivers tend to have less attachment issues than the children who have more than that. He indicated that several of his children cried a lot on their first few nights with him and his wife. Although this is often difficult on new parents, this is a sign that the child was attached well to her former caregiver.

Dr. Ochs also mentioned that although the use of alcohol tends to be less in China, lead poisoning is a concern. There is lead pollution in the water, auto exhaust, paint and acidic rain. Lead can be very damaging to child and can cause irreversible brain damage. Therefore, an important question to ask your adoption agency is what their history has been of placing children with lead issues. Thankfully, HIV is fairly uncommon in China.

Another important issue that Dr. Ochs mentioned was that once you return home with your child it is important to get an overall assessment done on your child to determine if these are any challenges that need to be addressed. Your local school system may be able to perform this evaluation. There tends to be more resources available for children under the age of three (some school systems receive special funding to evaluate children under the age of three), so it is best to start the process as early as possible.

In conclusion, Dr. Ochs mentioned that the vast majority of children adopted from China are doing remarkably well. A child being adopted that is placed in a loving, caring home has a tremendous impact on a child.

My sincere thanks to Dr. Todd Ochs for presenting "Adopting the Orphanage Child" on ThinkingOfAdopting.com. We hope to have him back again soon.

Robin Bartko